Asking Questions......

Asking questions is a great way to teach and to train your children. This is something we have always used and it seems to be effective. Allowing a child to come to the same conclusion that you would rather than just dictating to them all the time can be very beneficial for more than one reason. First off, it makes a child think things through. All children need to develop their thinking skills. We need to help guide them to make the correct decisions. Secondly, children are often more accepting of their correction and guidance if they come to the conclusion they need it! Now we do not always use this in every situation, children do need to simply be obedient to their parents, it is more of a training tool. It is especially useful with angry children and with young adults (teenagers, I just hate that word!).

Examples:

1. When a child is angry, especially about being disciplined begin to ask them questions.
Why are you angry? Who are you angry with? Really? Well, what did you do that was wrong? Why was that wrong? So do you deserve to be disciplined? Then who are you really angry with?
Often the responses are something like this....Because I got in trouble, my brother, sister, or you mom/dad, lets say they hit someone, because I wasn't being kind or I wanted their toy (talk about coveting and the need to share or give of ourselves), yes, angry with myself. Now you can discipline and talk about a forgiving and loving Heavenly Father and you can be forgiving to, you can even decide the offense was not too great and use this opportunity to show mercy and relate that to the mercy God shows us, His children. Just make sure you do not always show mercy and have that translate into the idea of no consequences.

2. Young adults, one that is recent actually. I was looking around at a good college for our son, 16 years. I found an excellent college, Classical Christian college, and affordable college. Now what would be the reaction from most if you told them that was where they were going to go, most likely not favorable and this does need to be a decision they help to make. So I began to ask him questions....he decided this is where he indeed wants to attend. Some of the questions were: Have you thought about where you would like to go? A Christian or secular school ?(no brainer, we would not pay for secular school). Just a Christian school or a Classical Christian School? Now that he had decided these things we really were on the same page (PRAISE GOD) and we began to have a discussion about this particular college. I know he would have listened if we had simply told him and he would have been okay with our decision but he was able begin making those decisions and we were able to guide. That is how they learn. They must begin to make their own, grown up decisions but we must guide them through it with the kind of guidance that they will not reject.

Labels: Train Up a Child