This subject has been on my mind lately. Modesty seems to be a newer theme these days. A good theme at that to be teaching our children. I am in whole hearted agreement on that fact. It seems to me that maybe even as adults, we need a lesson on what true modesty is as well. In having discussions with my children on this issue there is one recurring thing that comes to mind. There are many people who are teaching their children outward modesty only. Their children may not have short shorts, mini skirts that leave nothing to the imagination, or bra straps showing, in fact they may even be pretty well covered, but is this what makes one modest? It is definitely a step in the right direction and is most definitely a part of modesty but this in and of itself does not make one modest.

Webster 1828:
MOD'EST, a. [L. modestus, from modus, a limit.]
1. Properly, restrained by a sense of propriety; hence, not forward or bold; not presumptuous or arrogant; not boastful; as a modest youth; a modest man.

1 Peter 3: 3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Not only is our outer appearance important but there is also an inner aspect to modesty. If we look at the definition and the scriptures, we see this. A sense of propriety, not forward or bold, not presumptuous or arrogant, having a gently and quiet spirit, and more. How often have you seen the good modestly dressed church girl giving the flirtatious sideways glance? When have you seen her sitting far too close to the boys, or being "touchy", a hug, a lean, a mess of the boys hair, sneaking off to the corner to talk with a boy? She may have the outward appearance of modesty but inwardly she is most definitely not displaying true modesty.

When teaching modesty, or anything else for that matter, we should not stop at teaching outer obedience or behavior but teach about the inner disciplines also. In fact, the inner should be seen as the priority. In my opinion we should teach the inner first and then the outer. The inner will then overflow to the outer. Where do our actions and behaviors come from? They come from the heart. Teach to the heart of any matter and if grasped it will be evident to all. Teaching only to the outer gives no foundation and children will eventually stray without that foundation. A good foundation however is something they will build upon all throughout their life.

(NOTE: this pertains to boys also, I am just using girls as an example in this post)

Labels: Courtship, Modesty, Train Up a Child